don’t waste your life.

{photo credit: flicker}

{photo credit: flicker}

Dust gathers on my keyboard, maple leaves stick to pavement, tests keep me awake at 12:30 a.m., shuffled papers and empty coffee mugs clutter my desk by the window, and I sit, staring into space, with so many thoughts I cannot fathom into words.

Sometimes I have to wonder if the world really does spin faster as we get older, time slips between our fingers like sand, and the ticking of the clock never slows, never wavers.

We as young people are told our goal in life should be to follow our hearts. Pursue our dreams. Find true love. Do what makes us happy. You only live once, so we should wander blissfully and aimlessly through life like a paper airplane doing what we want to do until the hourglass stops.

But is that really what God has in store for us?

(read the rest here!)

a page from my journal in april

{unknown credit}

{unknown credit}

Jumbled words. Raw. Unedited. Straight from my brain.

4/10/14

I was made for another world. I know I was. I think my love of writing has stemmed from more than just the passion and joy it gives me.

It comes from this ache, this longing, not just to write, but this … cry for beauty. I crave it. I crave it in my daily life. I crave it when I wake up. I crave it when I read great works like Till We Have Faces. I crave it as I gaze at purple sunrises in my rear-view mirror every morning. I crave it as I go through the mundane, the serious, the repetitive parts of life. I crave it in sweet, dimpled smiles, starry skies, baby’s laughter, daily bike rides, cricket’s song, summer’s kiss, the blank page, cursor blinking, I etch the words that flame my soul as my heart trembles like a violin string, and I crack like the spine of a book. This flame, longing, nestles itself deep into my psyche. The pursuit of beauty that calls me from the ocean’s shore, the mountains around, roses reaching rooftops, running wild, the everywhere, the now, the memories past.

This urge to write is my way of reaching for the incorruptible beauty found in the simple joys of life, fingertips caressing heaven’s gate. Why didn’t I see this before?

i talked to c.s. lewis the other day.

{made by checkers007}

{made by checkers007}

I walk inside a strange coffee shop and close my eyes. The smell of coffee and roses permeates my senses. I glance at black and white photos staring from the walls, and the afternoon sun peeks through the windows, casting a gold glow. I see women dressed in pea coats and dresses and men in starched white shirts and black pants, chatting and studying at their individual tables as if nothing is out of place.

And then I see him, walking up to me.

He smiles and introduces himself, shaking my hand, as if we had made plans to meet at this coffee shop at this certain time. I cannot hide my excitement. C.S. Lewis himself?

I order coffee and chocolate cake for the both of us. I sit down and Lewis tells me all about the wonders of true, homemade chocolate cake, and how it really never does compare to what you buy from a store.

We talk about everything under the sun. I remember him mentioning his thoughts on his book, Till We Have Faces. He gives me tips on writing, and rambles about classic books, theology, and life advice. And when he talks,  it’s so easy and effortless. He talks almost non-stop, but he’s the kind of person you want to listen to, to hang off his every word, to soak in everything he says lest you forget.

The funny thing is, while he’s talking, I notice something. The sun is so bright, and the coffee shop is filled with so many beautiful, vivid colors, but C.S. Lewis is black and white. He has no color. And I see in the corner of my eye people giving me weird expressions, as if they can’t see him. And I don’t think they can. He is real only to me.

I remember bringing my copy of Mere Christianity, flipping through worn, underlined pages, asking him questions on certain chapters, free will, eschatology, and he goes on and on about the best way to talk to a die-hard atheist about the problem of evil, and of God’s eternal love.

This goes on for hours. Everything he says is so … intelligent,  and so beautiful, and so full of truth, I want to live in those moments forever listening to his hearty laugh and seeing that playful twinkle in his eye.

And then I wake up from a beautiful dream.

have fun, will travel

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I will be leaving for a 6 day field trip!

I am armed with a C.S. Lewis book, my loyal camera, and a mighty cup of hot cocoa.

snacks:

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Yes. I need LOTS of healthy(ish) snacks, because we won’t be making very many stops. Hmm … you think that’s enough to last me for a week? I sure hope so. We’ll see :)

In case you can’t see it very well, I have grapes, popcorn, homemade trail mix, homemade jerky, raw almonds, dried apple, banana chips, and granola bars.

By the way, have any of you guys ever tried the coffee almonds? Are they good?

music: I have the wonderful company of …

Norah Jones

Michael Buble

Sara Bareilles

OneRepublic

 

So here’s to you, kids! *clink*